Abuse

Abuse is always a hard subject to talk about. Abuse is generally silent and only known about between the abuser and the abused. Friends and family are not aware of what goes on between these two people and when these two people are in public friends and family would believe they have a good relationship. If it is a parent and child abuse situation it may be more noticeable but only if you know some of the signs that are there from being abused.

The person being abused generally walks away from the emotional or physical abuse feeling insignificant, guilty, shameful, depressed, numb and hopeless or many other feelings similar to these. The abused will also have thoughts of not being good enough or that they need to change their actions and it is entirely their fault. The abuser will cause destruction either emotionally or physically. Once the abuse is over they will make excuses, talk about being sorry and how it won't happen again. The abused person continues to believe them and even tell stories about any bruises.

The abuser will justify and tell the abused how if they wouldn't have made them angry it wouldn't have happened. The abuser will tell the abused how much they love them and how they can't live without them. They will tell them all the things they would want to hear to keep them from leaving. Other times the abuser may threaten them to stay or tell them they are worthless and no one else would have them, either way it is all about power and control.

If you would like more information please contact me.

Physical Abuse

Abuse is always a hard subject to talk about. Abuse is generally silent and only known about between the abuser and the one's they are abusing. Friends and family are not aware of what goes on between these two people and when these two people are in public friends and family would believe they have a good relationship. If it is a parent and child abuse situation it may be more noticeable but only if you know some of the signs to look for.

scratched up face The person being abused generally walks away from the emotional or physical abuse feeling insignificant, guilty, shameful, depressed, numb and hopeless or many other feelings similar to these. The abused will also have thoughts of not being good enough or that they need to change their actions and it is entirely their fault. Every time they are abused they tend to lose a piece of themselves.

The abuser will cause destruction either emotionally or physically. Once the abuse is over they will make excuses, talk about being sorry and how it won't happen again. The abused person continues to believe them and even tell stories about any bruises. The abuser will justify and tell the abused how if they wouldn't have made them angry it wouldn't have happened. The abuser will tell the abused how much they love them and how they can't live without them. They will tell them all the things they would want to hear to keep them from leaving. Other times the abuser may threaten them to stay or tell them they are worthless and no one else would have them, either way it is all about power and control. The above described is a part of the abuse cycle.

If you or someone you know is being abused something that is important to remember is that every time there is abuse in the relationship the abuse becomes more extreme. It may start out as pushing and name calling and eventually end up having to go to the emergency room for stitches, broken bones, or worse.

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Grooming

hand over mouth Grooming is a very gradual and unhealthy relationship. This relationship will generally end up in severe emotional and physical harm. Groomers look for someone that may have self esteem problems or that seem somewhat withdrawn from life. She will begin to befriend this person. The person who is grooming will give presents and let them know they are special and that others just don't understand them. They may tell them how special they are but they will add in the small remarks to remind them how worthless their life is. This trend will continue until the groomer is only telling them the hurtful things. They will begin with small, seemingly harmless sexual gestures in the beginning and slowly work their way to sexually exploiting them. By the time they have this person in their web they are hurting them sexually, physically, and mentally. They have decreased their self esteem and self respect to the point that they believe what they are being told about themselves. They believe they are worthless, their life becomes hopeless, and everything becomes dark and negative.

Generally the person being groomed loses who they are. They slip into a depression where they quit caring about how they look, they isolate, they avoid eye contact, or they may keep their hair in front of their eyes. They may withdraw and keep away from people they use to hang out with, this includes family members. They may begin to engage in other harmful behaviors, e.g. drugs or alcohol, cutting or self harm, suicidal or homicidal threats and attempts, violence, legal problems, and other destructive behaviors.

If you or someone you know needs help please contact me.