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This is the one million dollar question. What is the difference between being in love and being codependent? There is a big difference between these two types of relationships. So let's start by talking about what a codependent relationship looks like.
Codependence does not know where you end and your partner begins, if your partner is having a bad day then so are you. In a codependent relationship your whole world revolves around the other person. If they don't like something you are planning then you probably won't follow through with what you were planning. This relationship is based on control and doing anything to stay in the relationship even if it isn't being true to who you are. This relationship is based on fear and not love. Fear of being left, not liked, not accepted, or rejected; this creates a constant stream of thoughts that keeps this person from being true to who they are. In fact who they are; changes.
Codependent relationship usually look fine from the outside but you lose yourself in the relationship. Your friends go by the way side; your family is also pushed aside. Things that were important to you are not important now because they are not important to your partner. Your friends may even try to tell you but you are so enmeshed in this relationship you just tell yourself they just don't understand.
In the beginning of most relationships it may appear codependent because it is new and exciting but if it is a healthy relationship each partner will keep their identity. Neither of the partners will expect the other to give up their life or who they are for the relationship. A healthy loving relationship supports each other to grow in their life, their goals and helps them achieve their dreams.
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